I want to share with you all the story that I’m not particularly proud of, but that I think will help you. It is about arrogance and missed opportunities. Years ago, I got access to a REALLY successful executive who had a deep understanding about the ends and outs of organizational structures, process overhaul, and business politics and sales. He was a very sought after independent consultant who was VERY hard to access and very expensive if you could manage to get access to him.
I saved my money and was finally able to invest in a 90 day mentorship experience with this person (he would only do this once every few years). I had been trying to get more high profile projects as a management consultant, and I knew he could help me avoid a LOT of mistakes and make the money I wanted. I was so happy and excited to meet this powerhouse that I had been following for years and would finally get a chance to work with.
On our first call his delivery was so no nonsense, which I interpreted as rude, that I hurried up and got off the phone and LET THE 90 DAYS RUN OUT AND NEVER CALLED HIM BACK AND LOST MY ENTIRE INVESTMENT IN HIS PROGRAM (it was my job to call him in this set up). I was TOO TRIGGERED AND BEING A BRATTY LITTLE GIRL that I lost AN amazing opportunity to figure out some problems that were pressing at that point in time in my own business and career. I hung up and started googling him to see if I could find other complaints about his program, and if anyone would validate my little hurt feelings around working this guy. Interestingly enough, I DID find another guy who went through his program in my actual city and we ended working on a project together. He was a total failure-minded person, very weak in character, and no one respected him. He didn’t get a continuation on his contract. I realized if I kept up my weak-minded, temper tantrum mindset, that this would be me in the future.
Fast forward to two years later, I get the courage to reach out to this powerhouse mentor again and decide to go to a weeklong seminar with this person. (He only takes a handful of people and he taught it at a chateau.)
He remembered me and ask what happened to me and we had a very in-depth heart to heart about my PERCEPTION and my response to his delivery style (which actually wan’t rude. He was just trying to help me cut the B.S. so I could get what I wanted).
He told me that if I wanted to truly be successful I was going to have to develop stronger intestinal fortitude and manage my emotions because SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE WERE NOT GOING TO CODDLE MY FEELINGS BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT IT’S A SETUP FOR FAILURE. He also gave me guidance around some things with my business that if I had gotten a few years earlier when we first started talking, I wouldn’t have lost soooo much money and time. I MADE UNNECESSARY MISTAKES BECAUSE I LET THE LITTLE GIRL IN ME LEAD INSTEAD OF THE WISE WOMAN.
There was an opportunity cost to me being triggered and so sensitive that I forfeited my own LARGE investment, both time and money wise, because I wouldn’t be an adult about it.
But this is what we do when we’re triggered, right? We retreat, and then go and talk about that teacher behind their back. We decide that they’re our enemy if we disagree on even ONE thing. We try to see if we can find any dirt on them, try to find any fault with him, ANYTHING THAT WE CAN FIND SO WE DON’T HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT WE JUST GOT A WAKE UP CALL TO GROW UP. This feels good in the short term, but trust me, this is not helping you in the long run.
Ladies, I want to see you have joy, success, high value partners, life experiences, etc. All that good stuff. If you take my classes or do consultations with me, I am not going to tell you a lie. I am going to tell you things that might shock you. I will tell you harsh truths that you might not be ready to accept.
Listen to me, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE LYING TO WOMEN! They tell us what we want to hear even if it’s not good for us, and they get away with lying to us because we run away from being triggered. If YOU SIT WITH THE DISCOMFORT, YOU GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO GROW UP, and you don’t have to make as many mistakes. Stop losing time, money, and confidence as a result of unnecessary failures because you’re too triggered to sit down and LISTEN AND APPLY WHAT YOU’RE LEARNING.
Leveling up is a triggering process, and you have to be triggered to change.
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