Lady Cro

***Diamonds and 2 dozen long stemmed roses as a push present BECAUSE I DESERVE IT***

So... I just had a baby earlier this week and my heart is so full. But I almost missed out on this beautiful life experience. 💕 Y’all know Friday is the day of love, so I have to testify. 🙂

I used to swear up and down that I didn’t care for marriage or children, that I was going to make my money, travel the world, and not have to think about anyone but me.

After serious counseling and introspection, though, I realized that my perspective of marriage and motherhood was that of the dysfunctional, unsupported kind, not the holy, reciprocal, beautiful kind. I had no evidence that that even existed.

Besides, even if it DID exist, there was never any indication that *I* deserved it: I was not treated kindly as a child (not complaining about this, just stating facts), my father was not around, and I never felt loved. I NEVER saw a healthy relationship between a man and woman, and there were very few people that were even married in my family circle.

But then I got healed. And then I loved me. And then I started to BELIEVE that I deserved to be loved, and then I began to REQUIRE it (no exceptions) and then I began to RECEIVE it.

Fast forward to the day I had the baby: my husband surprised me with a beautiful remake of our wedding video, 24 gorgeous red roses, and a pair of magnificent pair of diamond earrings. And he said, “Thank you for giving me children. I am proud of you. I love you.”

So today, as I enjoy my 30 days of rest and being cared for, I have an even deeper understanding of why I rejected marriage and motherhood all those years ago:
Unsupported, unappreciated, uncompensated marriage and motherhood is terrible, depleting, and leaves a woman bitter and resentful.

Supported, appreciated, and LOVINGLY COMPENSATED marriage and motherhood is magnificent, makes your heart overflow with love, and makes you a joyful mother of children. So, I was not actually rejecting marriage and motherhood, but rather the DEFILED VERSION OF IT.

I’m not telling you all this because I’m trying to sell you marriage and motherhood. That is a personal decision but every woman must make for herself. I am telling you, however, to be honest about the desires of your heart, whatever that may be. Maybe you want something, but you reject it because you only know the defiled version of that thing. I’m challenging you to adopt a new mind. A new reality. Once you start to truly BELIEVE that you deserve it, then REQUIRE it, you will RECEIVE it. You deserve every wonderful thing that your heart desires. You don’t have to have any evidence of it being possible, either. You just have to make the changes to open the way.

Open up and let heaven surprise you. Love,
Nikki  

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